If they want to experience new things, they'll likely want to experience those new things with their partner/BF/Husband as well. I agree with you about looking for guys who still have curiosity about life in general. I know that because i was that person in the past where the external pressure to be a certain kind of gay, and feeling like i was doing gay wrong and that i'd end up alone because of it, got to me way more than whatever internal issues phase i went through with my identity as a gay man. Doing so has the implications/pressures that there are right and wrong ways to be gay, and that'll send someone running to a therapist too. Just wanted to point out that it's a little more nuanced than slapping an internalized homophobia sticker on everyone who's not 100% out yet. And therapy in general benefits everyone. But to your point, even more external reasons for being closeted are still worth talking to a therapist about. The reasons people stay in the closet don't always boil down to self hate and mental issues, it's not always that simple. He may very well have had other extenuating circumstances that made him, an otherwise self accepting homosexual, not be publically out that don't have to do with internalized homophobia or having "repressed" in the usual negative connotation, his sexuality. He's just saying he's getting a late start on dating. OP hasn't mentioned doubting his own sexually or being confused about how his sexuality works or having any qualms about himself. That gets tossed around far too often and a lot of times in scenarios it doesn't actually apply in and i've always thought that that's harmful. Particularly the assumption OP probably has internalized homophobia.
But i do take slight partial issue with point 7. Keeping conversations productive and friendly is what gives you the freedom to know if you have a question, the responses you get will be productive and friendly. Report the comment or post and the moderators will review and take appropriate steps. If you think someone is trolling, don't feed them. Unless you have a specific reason, try to give people the benefit of the doubt. If you're posting about sex, keep the title safe for work and save the gory details for the description. Help make the page something nice to look at and something a guy could read at his job. Just remember to take people's replies for what they are: someone else's opinion. Avoid rants and only post if you really want honest discussion with the community here. At this point in life, we should know what topics are emotionally charged and posts about them should be worded with care. Handle thorny issues and controversial topics with maturity and kindness. Keep in mind that this is a forum for guys over 30 so the questions and comments should be interesting and relevant to them. Talk about things that will be interesting for others as well as yourself. Treat this space as if you're having drinks with potential friends. This rule is not meant to dissuade discussions about depression. International resources can be found here - and on /r/SuicideWatch/. In the US, please do not hesitate for a moment to call 1-80 (National Suicide Prevention Hotline). No threats of self-harm or suicide If you are in crisis right now, there are professionals all over the world who are equipped to help you better than this this community is able.
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